Sex role play is a such a fun way to dive into your sexual fantasies, and even try your hand at a spot of power play — if that’s what you’re into. As society becomes increasingly open about sex and kinks, it’s no surprise that more of us are exploring sexual scenarios and fantasy via acting and imagination. But if you’ve never tried role play before, it can be a daunting prospect — where do you even begin?!
“Role play has a bit of a marmite quality to it,” says sex educator and author Ruby Rare. “In my experience if you’re into it, then you’re really into it, and if you’re not, it can feel quite intimidating or even off-putting to give it a go.”
That’s not to say it’s out of the question for those just wanting to dip their toes in. In fact, as Ruby points out, role play is a particularly good way of “leaning further into playful erotic fantasy, while still having the familiarity and security of being with a pre-existing partner”.
The most important thing when trying something new is, as always, communication! So it’s a good idea to have a chat with your partner(s) beforehand. This warm-up discussion is a place to cover expectations, boundaries, and safe words. Making space for trust and open communication will help make sure you have a safe (and sexy!) time. “Even if you’re playing out a more rough or dominant fantasy, a foundation of care, respect, and communication are essential,” adds Ruby. “[It’s particularly essential that] everyone knows they can pause or stop the scene at any time if they want to.”
Plus, good news — when it comes to nerves or awkwardness, Ruby recommends embracing it. “Unless you’re a highly skilled actor and ready to go full method, the pressure to be completely serious can make things feel less playful and fun,” she says. “Lean into laughter, because while it may be really hot, what you’re doing is also quite wonderfully silly.”
So, whether a sexy doctor, hot plumber, or a naughty builder role turns you on, or if a saucy ghost or witch fantasy is more up your street, here are some sex role play ideas to spark the imagination.
Sex role play ideas
1. Boss and employee
Role play often relies on breaking taboos and creating power dynamics. Therefore, unsurprisingly, work-based role plays are a bedroom staple. But, if you want to truly channel the office vibes, maybe leave the bed altogether and try having sex on a table or desk. While this can result in a slightly bruised bum or desperate fumbling as you try to move your laptop out of harm’s way, it’ll be worth it overall. Just make sure you’ve moved any sharp pencils from the area...
2. The classic maid or butler
This role play can have as much historical flair as you like. If you’re a keen historian and/or have watched Bridgerton’s sex scenes (aren’t they roughly the same thing?), you might want to play at being a member of at-home help staff, obeying a master or mistress.
3. A stranger
Get your partner to approach you as though you’ve never met and are complete strangers, to treat your body like they’ve never seen it before, and to take you with all the frenzied lust that drives two people who don’t know each other’s names to jump into bed together.
It’s the best of both worlds: all the fun of stranger sex without any of the anxiety that the person you’re sleeping with might be an absolute fuckboy/girl/person who will ghost you tomorrow.
This role play’s an easy one to accessorise with wigs, too.
4. An erotic massage therapist
Given that massages essentially make someone as horny as possible without ever getting them off, a massage that takes you ‘all the way’ is a real treat.
But if you’re playing the masseuse, make sure you pay attention to all the different parts of your partner’s body before you start getting it on. That way the pay off will be even more satisfying. You can also try out lingam massage or yoni massage, if tantric massage is your thing.
5. An authority figure (like a GP or medical professional)
The doctor/patient scenario is hot because it involves an authority figure. But this becomes still hotter when the authority figure has a reason to touch you — and if you have a sexy doctor’s or nurse’s outfit.
Try giving your partner a ‘physical’ and explain to them that a normal side effect of such procedures is that they might start to really, really want to have sex with you.
6. Outdoorsy sex scenes
By this I mean: rural romps... I’m talking farm hand or milk maid-based role play. Practice perfecting your southern American twang and pretend you’re rolling around in a haystack. Try your best to recreate the naughtiness of doing it alfresco as well as the romance of the wilderness — even if in reality, you’re only shagging with the window open and rolling about laughing at those dodgy accents.
7. Your first time
Because a lot of people’s real first times were either painful, embarrassing or unfulfilling, it’s fun to be able to recreate the event. Maybe put on a soundtrack that reminds you of your teens and try to remember that time of sexual frustration. Bring that extreme desire back to the surface and allow it to erupt all over again — but this time, hopefully, with a little more control and skill.
8. Yogi master/instructor
It doesn’t matter how flexible you are, anyone can make a yoga role play work. You can go pro, contorting your body into impressive yet erotic positions, or you can embrace being a total novice and simply waggle your bum in the air claiming it’s ‘downward dog’.
Whatever your aptitude, pretending to be a yoga instructor can be a particularly fun, experimental role play, encouraging you to adopt ambitious positions and to serenely instruct your partner where to place their limbs.
9. Monarchy, darling
Whatever your personal, political stance on the monarchy, regal role plays can be very hot. You may not fancy any of the royals, but that doesn’t mean you don’t fancy playing at being a princess or prince yourself. I mean, I reckon the only reason we haven’t abolished the monarchy is that we find the whole thing, well, sexy.
But don’t let the royals have all the fun — bring the eroticism of dynasty to your house share and command that your lover reveal their, *ahem*, sceptre.
10. Best friends turned lovers
If you’ve ever had a crush on one of your best mates, you’ll know the sexual tension can be very, very real. Play on that, with the stolen glances and uncertainty as to whether they feel the same about you. The push and pull of trying to figure out whether and when to make a move can be super hot.
11. The plumber
If you’ve ever seen an old school porno, you’ll know when the plumber, carpenter, electrician, handy man/woman/person shows up, things can get pretty heated. Maybe you’re home alone and your kitchen sink has sprung a leak, so you’re all wet and you don’t know what to do... and just then the plumber turns up to save the day.
12. Pilot/captain
Look, anyone who can drive (is that the correct verb?) a boat or plane is hot in my book. Imagine you’re a passenger on a private jet or a luxury yacht, and over the intercom comes your pilot/captain’s voice: ‘Please report to the cabin immediately.’ What happens when you get there is up to you...
13. The stripper and customer
If you’ve been looking for the perfect excuse to don the sexy negligee that’s been stuffed in your drawer for months, this is it. Play your favourite romantic song, slip on the lingerie, and give your partner a lap dance they’ll never forget.
14. Strangers at a bar
If you feel comfortable enough, you can try this one in public before taking it to the bedroom. Both rock up to the same bar at the same time, but pretend you are complete strangers. One of you has to make the first move: go over to them and offer to buy them a drink, and act like it’s the first time you’ve met. After as long or as little as you feel, someone should ask the other if they’d like to “go back to my place”. While still in character, role play as if you’re having a one-night stand.
15. Cheerleader and football player
Want to live out your all-American erotic high school fantasy? Have one partner dress up as a cheerleader, and the other as a football player. You can even use football terms when things get a little spicy. Why not say to your partner: “That touchdown deserves a reward...”
16. Role reversal
Whether your partner is always on top or is the one who instigates (consensual) sex, try flipping things around. This can be a really fun and intimate way to get to know your lover.
17. Your favourite romantic movie couple
Julia Roberts and Richard Gere in Pretty Woman? Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt in 500 Days of Summer? Whatever your favourite movie, pretend you’re the stars and role play your way into bed.
18. Famous musician and the fan
Do you have a musician that you’re absolutely in love with? Have your partner pretend to be them, serenading you at your own private concert. As the fan, act as if you’re head-over-heels in love with the singer, who should then invite you ‘backstage”...
19. The chef and the server
The kitchen can be a steamy place, so why not make it even steamier? Between yourselves, decide who will be the head chef and who will be the waiter. You can incorporate food into this one, from the chef feeding the server cherries, to the waiter drizzling honey over the cook in an erotic manner.
20. The voyeur
If watching your partner masturbate without touching them turns you on, this should be the perfect role play. It’s also the ultimate restraint test. You can take it in turns, with one being the voyeur and the other the exhibitionist, and vice versa. Speaking of...
21. The exhibitionist
If you like the idea of having sex out of the bedroom, whether it’s on the beach or in a secluded park, but don’t want to risk being caught, turn it into a role play.
22. Painter and muse
Has anyone else now got *that* Titanic scene in their head? Grab a canvas and some paint (make sure they’re body-safe) and take turns sketching your partner. If you don’t mind making a bit of a mess, go 3D with it and paint each other.
23. Mile-high club members
Always wanted to have sex in the sky but a) it’s too cramped, and b) you don’t want to get into trouble? Take the scene to the bedroom. Pretend you’re on a flight and ask your partner if they “want to come to the bathroom with you”. Whether you head to your own bathroom and role play there, or you keep it on the bed, tick off your own version of the mile-high club membership.
24. Pilot and flight attendant
We’ve done the pilot and passenger, why not try the pilot and flight attendant? Whoever is the pilot, invite the flight attendant to the cockpit. Because what happens in the cockpit stays in the cockpit.
25. Interrogator and suspect
Who will be the good cop and who will be the bad cop? Handcuff the suspect (if they’re comfortable) to the bed, and seduce them with an imaginary crime and punishment.
26. Neighbours
It’s giving Emily Cooper and Gabriel vibes. Pretend that you’re new to the area and moving into your building. Have your partner come along as your sexy neighbour, who offers to help move your boxes for you. Once you get to your apartment, let the sparks fly.
27. Masquerade ball
Imagine you and your beau are at a masquerade ball. In this instance, you’ll likely need masks to feed into the fantasy. Flirt with and tease each other, indulging in your masked identities as much as possible.
28. The hotel room
Whether you’re slipping into a hotel on your lunch break or you’ve escaped to the country for the weekend, act as if your bedroom is a romantic suite.
29. Phone sex
Can’t be together tonight? No problem. Create a scenario with your partner about why you’re apart, and embark on some seriously steamy phone sex instead. This one will definitely get your imagination going, seeing as though you can’t physically touch one another.
30. Wrestling
If you really want to get up close and personal with your partner — and have fun with it — wrestling can be a silly and sensual role play idea. Without putting too much pressure on each other (to avoid injuries, ofc), pretend your bed is a wrestling arena. Never has play fighting with your lover not ended in things getting a little steamy. ..
